Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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