It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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