I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize