wanna go halves on a baby?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
