i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
