The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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