is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
