things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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