There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
