A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
