There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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