sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
