I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize