i just wanna soil my oats bro
I CAN MOONWALK!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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