Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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