i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
