Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
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College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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