Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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