I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
