yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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