I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize