I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
