I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
