they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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