The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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