I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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