literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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