Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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