just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
