Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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