I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
