Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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