I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
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I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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