She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
