it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
