i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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