You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
