I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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