So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
