its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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