You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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