All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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