so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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