There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
