real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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