Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
