I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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