all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
