Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I want to fling myself into the sun
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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