How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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