It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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