Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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