Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
