and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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