I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
