You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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