she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
