It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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