sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
