Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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